confession - i’ve used alcohol to cope with anxiety
“Alcohol postpones anxiety, then multiplies it.”
Hey friends - I’m really happy you’re here.
As we know, alcohol can have different effects on everyone. You've heard of sad drunks. Mean drunks. People who take a sip of alcohol and have more confidence than anyone in the room. And the giggly, happy ones who are the life of the party. Alcohol typically lowers our inhibitions and relaxes us, which is why people who have anxiety or are in anxiety inducing situations (like a social event) can use alcohol as a coping tool. This is also why people might stop by a bar after work or have a glass of wine when they get home to unwind. It's an aid to help us relax. Having a drink here and there for appropriate reasons is nothing to think twice about, but for people with anxiety it can turn into an exhausting cycle.
Alcohol + anxiety - the cycle
There is a lot of science on how alcohol affects our nervous system and how it calms us down, but sometimes we forget about the after effects of alcohol and how they relate to anxiety. Have you ever had a night where you went out with friends for some drinks? You tasted that first sip of alcohol and could probably already feel your body relax. Then you felt that good buzz, the one where all your worries seem to have drifted away and was replaced with a fuzzy, warm feeling. Then because you don't want to lose that buzz, you keep drinking. Eventually, you go home, lay down in bed and you might feel completely fine or maybe you have a slight headache already and the room is spinning. Regardless, you fall asleep and the next day when you wake up, boom, instant anxiety.
“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”
Me and alcohol have had our tangos. Before I got pregnant, it would be normal for me to pick up a bottle of wine on my way home from work on a Thursday and have 2-3 glasses of wine with this routine continuing into the weekends. It was normal for my husband and I to go out to eat and I order 1-2 drinks. It was normal to go to my friend’s house and bring a bottle of wine with me. This habit of drinking just became too regular for me and being pregnant helped me realize that. It helped me see that I used alcohol to help me relax after a long, anxiety filled day or that I used it to dull my senses when I was sad. Cutting out alcohol for a long period of time helped me find other coping skills for these situations and I started realizing I didn’t necessarily miss it all the time like I thought I would. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to enjoy a glass of wine with my friends and family eventually or have a couple beers during a football game, but I don’t feel that desire like I used to.
Finding a healthy relationship with alcohol
Even if we don’t feel we have a bad relationship with alcohol, it is sometimes nice to check in by asking ourselves, "Why am I drinking? Is it to calm myself down or is it because I'm out with friends and socially drinking?" or like the quote above, “Am I drinking because I’m happy or because I’m miserable?”
If you are questioning your or a loved one’s relationship with alcohol, take a look at these tips below:
1) Talk to a trusted friend or family member
One of the things that usually crosses our mind when we think about reaching out to people is judgment from others. If you have someone you trust, just open up to them as much as you feel comfortable. It can even be something as simple as, "I've wondered lately about my use of alcohol and I was wondering what your thoughts were on drinking". Sometimes it is nice to just talk about these things openly with others.
2) Find an alternate form of coping
This one is important because since alcohol can be used as a coping skill, we want to find a healthy activity to replace it with. Some common forms of coping are:
Exercise
Journaling
Meditation
Finding another non alcoholic drink you enjoy like tea, coffee, or sparkling water
Joining a club
Reading
Listening to calming music
Doing a puzzle
Spending time with others
Or even being creative like coloring or painting
Anything that releases endorphins in our body will help reduce our anxiety. It's a bonus if we start to do these things on a daily basis to keep our anxiety and stress in check. Everyone has their thing they enjoy, sometimes we just need to try different things to find it.
3) Seek counseling
If you feel like your drinking habits are worse for wear and finding an alternate coping skill isn't helping alone, it's okay to get advice from a professional. A counselor is just a person we can talk to that has the knowledge of what avenues and activities combat drinking habits. It could be as simple as having one session where you talk with someone and get resources. It is much easier to start with a simple phone call, then have a habit get so bad we are forced into treatment. And it is NEVER shameful to do what is best for us.
4) Cut out drinking for one month
Sometimes we just need a dry spell to show we don’t need alcohol to cope. There have been people who talked about cutting alcohol for an entire month and not only did they find other coping skills for their anxiety, their anxiety lessened, and they felt overall better. Drink tea or coffee to start your day and then when you are feeling a little nervous, try some herbal teas. They naturally ease our muscle tension, which helps reduce anxiety symptoms. Most times we can commit to one month of change and maybe this could be the best change for you!
Thank you for being here
Alcohol can be a slippery slope, but it can also be consumed in a healthy way. If we are out with friends and we have a couple drinks. If it's a Sunday in the fall and we have a couple beers during the football game. If we are at a celebration and have a couple glasses of wine. There are so many situations when drinking alcohol is considered healthy or socially normal. But if there is ever a time you are questioning your reasons for drinking, just reflect on your emotions before and while you are drinking. And if you are looking for any online resources, click on the link below. We want to enjoy alcohol in moderation and for fun reasons. Stay tuned, friends.
